


Make It Up As We Go

by Dresupi



Category: Bones (TV), Criminal Minds (US TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Established Relationship, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Multi, Multiple Crossovers, One Shot Collection, Polyamory Negotiations, Vampire Zack Addy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: A collection of Darcy/Spencer/Zack short fics I've been prompted. Various ratings and subject matter.None of the ficlets are connected unless otherwise noted.The first chapter is the table of contents.I will mark mature/explicit shorts with an *.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Spencer Reid, Darcy Lewis/Spencer Reid/Zack Addy, Darcy Lewis/Zack Addy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20
Collections: Dresupi's Ficlet Collections





	1. Table of Contents

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Greennonmonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greennonmonster/gifts).



  1. Table of Contents
  2. I don't know why I can't hypnotize you || for Greennonmonster




	2. I'm not sure why I can't hypnotize you || for greennonmonster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _****_ ****
> 
> **_Halloween Prompts 2020_ **
> 
> **__**
> 
> Other tags: AU - Vampire, Vampire Zack Addy, Established Relationship, Bad Flirting, Polyamory Negotiation

He narrowed his eyes, peering over at Darcy in a way that Spencer thought resembled the way most men looked at her. Except Zack’s meaning was perhaps a bit more literal. He probably wanted to _actually_ eat her, and not figuratively partake as most men had attempted.

Darcy’s hand tightened in Spencer’s, arching a defiant eyebrow at Dr. Addy. 

His fangs snapped and disappeared and he shook his head in amazement. “I’m not sure why I’m unable to hypnotize you…”

Eager to get Dr. Addy’s rapt attention off Darcy, Spencer responded. “Probably because I”m of superior intellect to you… I don’t take to hypnosis as well as others.”

Zack shot him an annoyed look. “I was referring to _her_. I wouldn’t try to hypnotize you if you were the last beating heart on Earth.”

“Really? You’re that picky?” Spencer snarked. “Stop trying to cannibalize my girlfriend. We came here for a reason and it wasn’t so you could try to seduce her away from me.”

“Cannibalize? Is that the word you really want to use?” Zack countered. “Exsanguinate is more apropos, I believe.”

Spencer shrugged. “Isn’t it all the same basic principal? Literally devouring another human as a way to cope with your own des—“

Zack groaned. “Please. Leave your soft sciences out of this, I wasn’t going to exsanguinate your girlfriend, I merely—“

“Maybe don’t do anything to my girlfriend,” Spencer interrupted.

It was Darcy’s turn to be annoyed. She shook Spencer’s hand away from hers. “Your girlfriend is here. Perfectly capable of taking care of herself, you know. And speaking for herself.”

“Yeah, she seems very capable,” Zack replied.

“Shut up, bloodsucker. We need help,” she snapped.

Dr. Addy snorted. “Well, you’re off to a tremendously wonderful start. You’re both so polite.”

“You want polite, earn it. Stop baring your fangs at me like you’re some big mosquito stuck in a screen door,” she scoffed. Spencer’s eyes widened, as did Zack’s, but Darcy continued. “You’re a bone guy, right? When you’re not being a human pest, that is.”

Zack shrugged. “I’m not _the_ bone guy, but I’m the only one who operates exclusively at night, so…”

“Yeah, well, Dr. Brennan’s on maternity leave, so you’ll have to do,” she said with a flip of her hand.

“She taught me, you know,” Zack countered.

“I admire her patience,” she deadpanned, pushing past the two of them and approaching the door of his office. “We have bones. You have brains. Come on.”

“I _like_ her,” Zack said softly.

“So do I,” Spencer replied. “Don’t treat her like a piece of meat and you might get somewhere…”

“Where? Isn’t she your sexual property?”

“Darcy’s not traditional when it comes to dating,” Spencer replied. “But she will rip your fangs out with a rusty pair of pliers if she hears you call her my property, so… maybe cool it with the misogyny, _Dr. Addy._ ”

“Chauvinistic comment aside, I’m not a misogynist. I was merely calling back to your previously stated ownership of her.”

“Well don’t. Life isn’t a comedy routine.”

“Don’t know why you’d say that, Spencer. Do you think I’m funny?”

“Could you guys stop flirting and get in here, I don’t have all night,” Darcy called from her perch on one of the armchairs.

Zack waited precisely one beat before speaking again. “You know… I’m not exactly a traditional guy so maybe this could work?”

“You’re not traditional? No kidding,” Spencer followed after her. “Right now, you’re the bone guy, so come on.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts are open, prompt me [here.](https://forms.gle/ejZPceyAAj29SWtK8)


End file.
